Another year of doing my best to live! I posted last year, https://www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmile/comments/1mlerz1/6_years_to_the_day_i_attempted_an_early_exit/ , and my heart absolutely soared with the interactions in the comments and the many messages and conversations I had since then. So I hope this helps a few people again this time.

7 years ago yesterday, I bid my horribly abusive then-fiance a painful but relieved farewell, and climbed out onto a bridge. While I shuffled out on the ledge to a spot I hoped would end me on impact, if not with the ground them a semi doing 70 mph (I'm aware how selfish it is to put others at risk for my own gain; all I can say is that in that moment I simply could not care, and also I did not turn to paste on a poor truckers grill), the police came and a lone older officer spoke with me for a few minutes before grabbing my shirt through the fence when I moved to jump. He begged, he cried for me, for his men watching 20 yards away helplessly, and I wept and I broke and I lived. Not well at first, not a while even, but I did live.

I was 28 then, 35 now. The last fifth of my life just wasn't going to be, and yet here I am, moving forward every day. I made progress my addiction 5 years ago and every day is glorious, even when it fucking sucks, even when it feels like I'm fighting life itself. Taking the lashings, in stride when I can, with renewed vigor when the beat me down, just continues to be worth it. I wouldn't have had the chance for my brother and I to be flower girls at my little sister's wedding last week. I wouldn't be fretfully raising a nearly teenage girl in today's America. I wouldn't be less than a year from my degree. Some of these things are hard, not enjoyable at times, but they are in my life because I am alive. And that makes me happy.

So to those who need to hear it, stay alive with me. Keep moving forward.

Since I adopted Savannah, she hasn't enjoyed being picked up & will avoid being on me. She has always loved sitting near me. Today, on her very own, Savannah came to sit in my lap 🩶

My dad is the best person I know, and the best father I could have ever hoped for, despite some really challenging mental and physical health issues with that made for a pretty complicated childhood. He wasn't as openly affectionate back then as he is now (being a grandpa has softened him quite a lot over the years), but now as a grown man I can see all the ways he fought for me and loved me that I didn't notice back then. My spouse and I were talking about something childhood related and this memory came up; I don't think he knew I remembered, so I decided to tell him.

He usually demures if I say what a good father he was. I think because I had so many troubles, and he himself was struggling with similar issues, he worries he didn't do enough—but I never would have survived to adulthood if not for how hard he and my mom worked to support me and show me I deserved to be happy and loved. Getting to give him a concrete example of how he improved my life, and maybe help him believe just a little bit that he did right by me, definitely made me smile. Love you to pieces, Papa.

EDIT: didn’t realise the twin flame bit was to do with a cult YIKES so changed it.

EDIT 2: wow, thank you for all the love! The negative comments have been making my spouse (they/them) giggle so keep em coming. I hope you all find this level of feeling content, life truly is worth living- I wouldn’t believe it if i’d heard this a few years ago. Kindness is free and helps keep the world turning, so keep being awesome, keep loving freely and never stop supporting those who need it most. 🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍⚧️

we found inner peace and healing, and through that we entwined our souls. here’s to many happy years together, Mx Valentine. May we live to be elder trans people to keep sharing that it gets better.

@Caca meomeo

The cat cosplays a lot of characters if you gonna their page. Super cutie 🥹😭

A true artist with rock steady hands @ 75.

What a legend.

I hit my rock bottom point and with some help I made a choice to stop drinking. Every aspect of my life was starting to fall apart and I was a hot mess. My best friend helped me box up all the alcohol in my house and then load it up in his car. I found a great therapist and got some medical help from my primary care doctor. These last 100 days haven't been easy and there were times where I was a split second away from falling off. But I couldn't be prouder of myself for getting here. And if you're one of those people that struggled like I have just know that you don't have to do it alone.