Chicken Tika with vegetable samosa and naan.

The other week my 74-year-old mother told me that she and my dad had finally finished their wills, medical directives, and burial plans. They met with a lawyer, wrote everything out, and made it official. I had been asking them to do this for a while because they both have a number of medical issues.

I have two older siblings. The oldest lives with my parents and has for most of his adult life. He works full-time and is active in his community, but has struggled with anxiety, depression, agoraphobia, and is financially irresponsible. I’ve privately had opinions about some of his reasons for never really leaving home, but ultimately it wasn’t my business, so I stayed out of it.

My other sibling has almost no relationship with my parents and doesn’t want one. None of the three of us are married or have children.

My mother told me that when they die, their house and everything in it will go to my oldest sibling. The house is probably worth around $300k. My other sibling will receive whatever money they have in their bank accounts, life insurance, retirement accounts, etc. My parents aren’t wealthy, but it will likely be at least six figures.

And then there is me.

I’m the youngest. I’m the one who navigates difficult conversations. I organize every family dinner and every holiday. I’m everyone’s therapist. Every other year I take my parents on a road trip because they don’t like flying but love sightseeing. I’m the emergency contact. I’m the medical wrangler.

My mom told me that what I’m getting is responsibility for their medical decisions because they trust me the most to “do what’s right by them.”

My dad recently had spinal surgery. My oldest brother, who lives with them and will inherit the house, barely visited him in the hospital. My other brother only went because I drove him. When my dad went to a medical rehab facility, neither visited. Neither went to a single appointment. I did. And apparently because I was so good at it, they trust me to keep doing it until the end.

For some context, my parents were neglectful and physically and emotionally abusive when we were growing up. They forgot to enroll me in school until the state intervened. One of my siblings slept on the floor throughout his childhood because they refused to buy him a bed. My father stole my car, sold it, and bought himself a new car the next day. I don’t think my mother could name a single teacher I had or school I attended.

And yet I spent most of my life making excuses for them, even when I was a child. For some reason, this conversation finally sent me over the edge.

I told my mom that what she’d said about the will hurt me. I also told her it was her responsibility to tell my brothers what they had decided. I wasn’t going to organize a family dinner or meeting so I could facilitate that conversation for them too.

And, because apparently this conversation wasn’t bizarre enough, she told me all of this while I was driving her to visit extended family.

Afterward, she looked at me and said I looked so run down that she thought I might have cancer and was refusing to tell them. Apparently my dad and oldest brother have been discussing the possibility that I have cervical cancer because I “look like shit.” I do not have cancer.

Then she laughed.

I genuinely don’t know what I’m supposed to feel at this point. I’m hurt by the inheritance, yes, but I think I’m more hurt by what it revealed about how my family sees me. My brothers get the tangible things, and I get entrusted with the responsibility of caring for the people who hurt me because I’m the one who can handle it.

I can’t have a normal conversation about any of this with my family because everyone is so emotionally unstable, so outside perspective is welcome. How would you handle this? Am I wrong for feeling like something in me has fundamentally changed after this conversation?

It’s not about the money. But I think that’s all they will see if I’m upset by this.

TL;DR: My parents finalized their wills. One brother gets their house and everything in it, the other gets their money, life insurance, and retirement funds, and I get nothing financially but was named to make their medical decisions.

Oven-baked brie with (store-bought) chickpea salad

A few months ago, I started talking to a guy. One thing lead to another, we agreed to be exclusive, we slept together and we were talking about the potential for a serious relationship.

Not long after that, I started seeing some red flags and doubting his honesty (non-stop texting and snaps from work and the gym, but almost never from home or on weekends, for example). When I confronted him about this, he said I was crazy and blocked me on everything. I must admit I cried my little eyes out over that.

A few weeks ago, he messenges me again on Messenger. He apologizes, says he still sees potential in us but his situation is complicated bla bla bla, maybe we could be FWB?
Pffft BOY BYE

We keep talking "as friends" but he keeps flirting all the time. Mind you, I'm still blocked on everything except Messenger. I once again tell him I feel like he's hiding something, and he tells me I'm crazy, I'm imagining things, this is why I ruin my relationships, there's something wrong with me...

WELL, I did a little snooping and I found his girlfriend! They've practically been living together! She and I had a lovely chat on the phone this afternoon. She was very receptive. We talked for over an hour, shared stories, laughed & cursed the son of a bitch's name. She thanked me profusely for telling her, and I thanked her profusely for not shooting the messenger.

She's confronting him tonight and I'm sending all my positive thoughts to her <3

1 whole pizza with ranch bc I waited too long to eat something.

Just broke things off with a guy who I thought was going to be the one. We met at the gym and we both enjoyed the same things and had the same goal of marriage and kids.

But then he asked me if I voted. We’re in Michigan so the primary was last Tuesday. I told him I voted by mail. He started off by saying “you probably voted for Haley Stevens” to which I said “Fuck no. I voted for Abdul El-Sayed.” This set him off on a huge racist rant with quotes such as;

“The guy that wants a bunch of illegals in michigan to get a bunch of rights or whatever”
“Idk man that dude doesnt even seem like he cares about american whatsoever”
“Muslims hate Christians and american
That’s not even debatable
Literally in their doctrine”

I wouldn’t consider myself liberal, maybe liberal leaning. Mostly just want people to be able to live their life, leave other people alone to do the same, and get old people out of politics. But I have loved ones who are minorities and I can only assume he believes the same rhetoric about poc, women, lgbt+, etc.

I’m mourning the potential of the relationship because I really did feel like we were building the foundations of something strong. Best that it ended early.

I (19F) met my (19M) boyfriend’s family yesterday. We’ve been dating for a few months, and for context, I am Hispanic. My parents were both born in Mexico. My boyfriend is white, and this has genuinely never been an issue between us. He’s pretty liberal, and I guess I just assumed his family was similar because he’d never really said otherwise.

We’re both in college, so he doesn’t live with his parents anymore, but he’s been asking me to come home with him and meet them. Yesterday we finally did.

The first thing I noticed when we pulled up was the huge American flag outside their house. Obviously that by itself means literally nothing, so I didn’t think much of it. His dad was actually really nice to me. His mom wasn’t rude, exactly, but something felt off almost immediately.

She kept asking me questions in this very polite voice that somehow made every question feel like an interrogation. Where was I from? Where were my parents from? How long had they lived here? When I said I was born here, she said, “Oh, good,” and then immediately changed the subject. Maybe I was reading too much into it, but the “oh, good” stuck with me.

At dinner she asked what my parents did for work. Again, completely normal question, except when I answered she looked almost surprised and went, “Wow, good for them.”

Then at some point my boyfriend mentioned something we’d done together and his mom randomly said, “Oh, you know who used to love that? Madison.” I had no idea who Madison was. My boyfriend got visibly annoyed and said, “Mom,” and she went, “What? I’m just saying. Madison loved it.”

Turns out Madison is his ex-girlfriend.

She brought her up TWO more times. Not in an obvious “I liked her better than you” way, which almost made it stranger. It was always casual enough that calling it out would make me look insane. she said how “Madison’s family used to go there every summer.” or “Remember that pie Madison brought us?” and then she would laugh it off and just change the subject.

On the drive back I finally asked my boyfriend if his mom disliked me. He seemed genuinely confused and told me no, she’s “just like that with everyone” and that she takes a while to warm up to people. I figured maybe I was being insecure. Meeting someone’s parents is awkward anyway, and maybe I’d gone in expecting her to love me immediately.

Then last night I made the mistake of looking her up on Facebook.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Her page was public and I didn’t even have to scroll far. Trump posts everywhere. Posts about “illegals” destroying America. Posts saying every undocumented immigrant should be deported, no exceptions. One about immigrants coming here, having “five kids,” and expecting hardworking Americans to pay for them. Another complaining about Spanish being spoken in public. She had reposted something about how if you come to America you need to “assimilate or leave.”

Suddenly the entire dinner replayed in my head.Where are your parents from? How long have they been here? Oh, good. Wow, good for them. And fucking Madison.

I kept scrolling even though I knew I should stop, and the posts got worse. At one point I literally put my phone down and just stared at the wall because I realized my boyfriend might genuinely have no idea that the way his mom treated me was different. He’s probably seen her interact with white girlfriends his entire life.

And now I don’t know what to do. He’s never said anything remotely racist to me. Politically, he disagrees with basically everything she posts. But I also really don’t want to tell him, “Hey, I stalked your mom’s Facebook after meeting her and I think she’s racist and hates me.”

EDIT: Just wanted to add context since some comments say I should leave. I don't want to ask him to cut his mom off as they already barely speak, prior to this I've never once heard them talk on the phone even when he calls his brothers. We don’t live in the same state as his family. We were visiting because our summer break is ending, and I really wanted to meet his parents. he was actually kind of avoiding the whole meeting, which makes a lot more sense now.. Apparently he had also specifically told his mom beforehand not to say anything weird or political to me. He also had us leaving earlier than we originally planned too, which I didn’t really connect to her behavior at the time.

After making this post I showed him his mom's fb page and asked "Is this your mom?". He was silent and then said yes, and that he was very embarrassed about her views, and didn’t tell me about it because he didn't want the first meeting to be uncomfortable or awkward, he didn’t expect her to actually say anything to me, and he doesn’t plan on having her very involved in his life anyway. He apologized a ton and admitted he should’ve warned me beforehand. I’m pissed about his mom.. but I'm very happy with him and how he treats me overall

Throw away account; not sure if I chose the right flair? But just felt I needed to scream into the void. My autistic daughter is almost 5 and still completely non verbal, communicates with only hand leading or other physical ways. When she was 2/3 and physically smaller it wasn’t as obvious in public ( like at the park) that she was delayed, now it’s very obvious due to her size. I’m fearful for the rest of my life/ her life. Grappling with the fact that there’s a good chance she’ll be non verbal forever. That things just get harder forever. I pictured my parenthood so differently. She scratches and pinches when she is frustrated so we rarely go anywhere besides the park where I stay immediately next to her. I get sick to my stomach thinking about the future. Every year is the year I’m hopeful she’ll start talking but each year I’m less hopeful. I’m angry that it feels like she nor me deserved for life to be so hard, I’m angry at my self wondering if I did something for this happen? I love my daughter so so much and she’s so clever and funny but I just want to hear her talk. I’m so isolated and afraid. I’ve felt so hopeless I have fallen victim to all the different supplements people “swear” helped their kid talk even though logically I know it doesn’t work like that. I know I need a therapist and I’m working on it.
Dinner is large pretzel with cheese

Hey y'all. I was parusing Tinder tonight just for funsies and I got a super like from guy that I thought looked familiar. I accepted it just cuz yknow super like. Anyways I am looking through his profile and then it hit me. This man rejected me two years ago when I was just starting my medical transition but didn't want to be seen in public wth me because he didn't think I was feminine enough. This really really hurt at the time because I was in a really vulnerable state and I took it really hard. Cried about it at the time but ultimately I picked myself up and moved on. Two years later I am passing the majority of the time, have had really great results with HRT and just look like another typical beautiful tall Norwegian woman. I told him that I recognized him and reminded him of who I was. He said he didn't recognize me, but now he thought I was "drop dead gorgerous" and he'd "love to cuddle with you in bed" and he thought I had a "beautiful soul". I could have been meaner but I didn't want to expend a single ounce of emotional energy on this guy I just told him plainly, "You had you chance back then and you broke my heart." He then unmatched from me.

Frozen blueberries eaten from a cup because I am lazy and a bit stoned.

Edit: Wow this blew up, thank you everyone for your support. Every single comment is read and appreciated.. It's 5AM here in Oslo time for me to snooze. Will respond to as many comments as I can when I awake. <3

Was really looking forward to paying off some debt, buying a new car and a small arcade.
Oh well. I will win back my money by eating delicious Costco pizza for all of my life.

Only been on a couple dates with him. Very nice steakhouse and then casual brunch. He is much older than me. Great connection and conversation, but I’m starting to get ticked off on how he keeps commenting on how I speak. We have literally only been on two dates and he’s commented: you speak too formally, you speak like a politician, you sound like a robot, etc. TF? For example, He will say, “I like you a lot” and I respond with enthusiasm that, “I like you too and that I look forward to getting to know each other!” He will then say I need to loosen up and not sound like a robot? Like wtf else am I supposed to say?? No guy has ever said something like this. If anything, they appreciate how I articulate myself. It is literally how I talk and I have never had anyone so fixated on how “formal” I sound. I finally jokingly asked him if he only dating uneducated people or something? Idk it’s kinda weird and giving possible red flag. It’s just how I speak and I’m not sure what his deal is…

*Edit Update* I love you guys thank you for the support and feedback. I’ll make him disappear.

food: gelato for me and a milkshake for my sister in a random cafe in tirano!

my sister and i have been in italy for about a week. it’s extremely unbearably hot but very pretty otherwise.

anyways, the men here are HORRIBLE. constant staring, catcalling, whistling, everything. i thought it was just because we were asian, but honestly don’t know at this point. do the women here just chalk it up and deal with it?? it’s so uncomfortable and annoying!!!!!!! i was at bershka and the men there with their wives or daughters just stare at me, which apparently is a culture thing, but oh my god! we went to a flea market and had random guys yell arigato at us (we’re taiwanese.), and some guy looked me up and down whilst clicking his tongue in the most uncomfortable fashion.

we started taking ubers to avoid these interactions, i’ve never been more uncomfortable in a country in my life. i wish this trip to italy wasn’t shadowed with this kind of experience.🥲

edit: we’ve been primarily staying in Milan. there’s discourse over me not staying in “italy”, i went to tirano for one day only on a day trip to st. moritz, which is where i ate the gelato. bershka is a clothing line aimed at a younger crowd, one of their shops resides in the central tower, about a six-eight minute walk from the duomo. what i meant to say was in the general area of the duomo/milan, not berksha specifically 😭 it just came to my mind because i came back from shopping there, lol

I broke up with my boyfriend because we were incompatible. I still love him, and I think he still loves me, but I was constantly feeling like I was asking for the bare minimum.

I wanted him to make plans, take initiative, and actually want to spend time together. I told him many times that I didn't want to be the one planning things. We barely had proper dates, and eventually I stopped waiting for him and started doing things on my own. I realized I was actually happier and more content without constantly expecting something from him.

I tried breaking up with him many times before, but he always talked me out of it. This time I was done. I'm done waiting for him to take action.

Last week he said he wanted to do something but was trying to save money because he was short on cash. Then I ended things.

Now today he's sending me snaps of himself doing an activity and then eating at a restaurant with people. And I'm fucking furious.

Because suddenly you have the money and energy to spend an entire day doing things?

These are the exact things I used to want to do with you. Things I had to ask you for. Things you wouldn't initiate unless I pushed you.

And now I have this overwhelming urge to reply:

"Oh, so you DO have money and the capability to go out and do things?"

I want to lash out so badly. I'm barely stopping myself.

I know I probably shouldn't send anything because it'll just reopen everything, but I'm so angry. It's like watching someone finally do all the things you begged them to do, except now they're doing them without you.

I still love him, but I'm fucking exhausted from waiting for effort that never came.

How do you deal with this kind of rage without sending the message?

dinner is fried pickles.

Dinner is salmon with sweet potato fries, some assorted veggies and a matcha Swiss roll

Two months ago, after a year and a half together, about to sign a lease for an apartment together, with plans to get engaged later this year, we ended things with a short phone call where he hung up on me.

On this phone call I had asked him if he had met someone else- he hesitated and said he didn’t have the bandwidth for that right now. I asked him if he had been trying to push me away and he unloaded on me- I used too many paper towels and toilet paper (I had previously venmoed him $30 for that, like an idiot). I used his dishwasher too much. I didn’t go to the gym enough (I was working three jobs including a travel job and didn’t have the energy). Just made-up petty bullshit that made no sense.

I was so in shock I didn’t get to bring up his concerning behavior that was escalating with each increase in dosages of his steroids and other performance enhancing drugs. In the week leading up to the breakup he had walked into another guy on the sidewalk so hard that the guy fell to the ground because the guy hadn’t moved out of his way. He had asked me to Venmo him for two garbage bags I had used and tried to prevent me from using some quarters for laundry (even though I had paid for $10 of quarters and he made double what I did). He got angry with me for accidentally staining his dingy, already stained couch that we planned to replace soon when we moved in together. The only plausible explanation I had for how cold and selfish he had become after a year of happiness was the steroid and other performance enhancing drug use. I even made a post titled “I hope his roid colored glasses fall off.”

But today, as if in a movie, I was driving past and then stopped at a red light where his apartment is and I recognized his distinctive poopy diaper walk. He walked for a bit with and then went into his apartment with a girl, and they looked like they were walking from the gym he went to.

Things finally make more sense. Taking longer at the gym, going more frequently, deleting his IG, pushing me away instead of being honest. It hadn’t made sense to me how after breaking up with his last ex he still went with her to her sister’s wedding as her date months later even though she had allegedly cheated on him, yet he hadn’t even bothered to have one real conversation with me.

I’m glad I didn’t internalize too much of what he said. I know I’m not a miserable person like he had claimed. I had felt down while in the relationship because his behavior continued being self-centered and inconsiderate even though he had begged me for my forgiveness and for another chance two months before the breakup after I was groped while away on a work trip and he made it all about himself and even blamed me for it at first. He should have let me break up with him then. And after that, every time I had tried to start a conversation, I was dismissed and told that I’m “overreacting”, “keeping track”, “blowing things out of proportion”, and “turning things around on him.” I had been miserable with him because I hadn’t been having my emotional, physical or mental needs met.

At the very least he must’ve been preparing to or already emotionally cheating and monkey branched. His best friend had done the same thing earlier this year- got the number of and started talking to a girl at the gym and planning dates before breaking up with his current gf. This dude really tried making it seem like things were my fault instead of being honest. Good riddance.

Friend made me dinner. Spicy sausage and homemade pasta. Bless the Italians.

Well. As the title says, he now understands polyamory apparently. With his /best friend/. And will not live his life without her. Sucks to have trusted a man again, and planned to uproot my life for someone who doesn’t have any consideration for my feelings, at least not enough to communicate. He even knew that I was cheated on in my last relationship, said it was a hard boundary for him too. Just to all of a sudden in the last week gain a new sense of understanding. Yeah right. Just a sad girl dinner/first meal of the day.

Chicken sandwich for dinner

I’m goth, I go out, and there are very few alt dressing in this town, but when I go out… oh my god.

Men assume I’m ‘freaky’ immediately and call me goth mommy TO MY FACE and, I quote, want me to ‘step on them’.
They say these things directly to me. It’s fucking baffling to me considering I’m a human being with feelings and not only that the whole stigma of “big booba goth mommy!” Completely takes away what being goth really is :/…
I dunno. It’s sad.

Edit: apparently people are really ridiculous and assuming this is an “ad” all because I don’t like being sexualized because I’m goth and dress alt.

I have no socials linked, my profile is hidden, and I don’t do OF or any type of SW and I don’t even post my face on the internet. This isn’t an ad. This is me legitimately upset over men saying gross nsfw to me to my face. I’m a person too.

I walked into my apartment (that I share with my boyfriend of 2 years) and caught him watching FTM twink porn in our bedroom. He soon after admitted to having a porn addiction as well as a fetish for ftm men in an admittedly creepy way.

boneless chicken wings and smashed cupcakes.

Edit for added context: he says he doesn’t view trans men as men. He also promised me when we started dating 2 years ago that he doesn’t watch porn, when I even said I was okay with watching porn as long as it didn’t become an addiction and as long as we were open about it.
We’re both bi. That’s not the issue. It’s the fetish and lying that I’m bugging over

I did it girls! After years of saving, Ive reached a big financial goal of mine… $100,000 in my 401k! 🎉

I love that this is something I have fully done myself... Not a joint savings. Not an asset my husband & I own together. Not my husband’s retirement either. Just mine & mine alone!!

Any ladies out there meet a goal or have a big finance ‘win’ like mine lately? I’d love to hear about it!

Breakfast is chilaquiles divorciados with a Biscoff coffee. 😋

Editing to say thank you all for the kind words! Im truly enjoying reading your wins and the encouragement amongst the girlies. Let’s continue to spread financial literacy as a small step towards equality!

I signed onto a lease with some other girls I don’t know, and since I’m not in town yet everybody else claimed the upstairs rooms. Therefore, I have to live in the fucking basement like a bridge troll or something. This has been a terrible week and this is just the icing on the shit cake. Fuck my fucking life, I don’t want to live like in the basement. At least I have a cheap place to live though, could be much worse

Vegan enchiladas.

EDIT: Thank you guys, for real. I feel so much better about it now. I love this sub, I love being a girl 😭

So first of all, my stepmom did a BAD thing. She drove drunk. Blew nearly twice the legal limit. This was her second DUI in a year.

Made a post last week or month about this here, and how insane she handled these court proceedings (chatGPT was involved), but it's worse than what I said there tbh.

Wanna preface all this by saying that when we got the call last fall that she was in jail, we had no idea this was happening. No idea about the first DUI. No idea she was bar hopping with bottles of vodka in the passenger seat.

Some of this came out before the trial, but much of it was revealed during the actual trial to us. I mean she never shared her BAC with us, oh my GOD I was so pissed when I heard that come out in evidence. Pissed with her, for the record.

Then the judge starts asking her for evidence he asked for a week ago. What evidence you ask? Oh my god this dumb bitch tried to file with the IRS claiming the court owes HER MONEY. He was fucking pissed and rightfully so. How are you gonna claim the court owes YOU money when they let you out without bail on your own recognizance (or whatever fancy legal word he used. Basically she never had to pay bail and now is claiming they owe HER MONEY?)

I'm so embarrassed even saying this. Trust me, me and my brother have had some serious conversations just absolutely venting about how STUPID she has been.

oh my GOD WHAT WAS SHE THINKING. Thankfully, HOPEFULLY, she managed to retract that IRS bullshit and is providing proof tomorrow at her sentencing. This hopefully will put the judge in a better mood.

She will go to jail. There is nothing to be done about it and honestly she fucking deserves it. But all we can hope for is a light enough sentencing so she doesn't lose her job and miss her son's first year of college. But I have very low hopes and it's honestly so hard to wish the best for her right now.

I am pissed off and I can't fucking say that cause I'd blow the entire family up at a moment when she just needs support. My girlfriend is literally holding us all together right now by providing SOUND advice to my stepmother (aka get a lawyer if you wanna appeal but also be prepared to spend some good quality time in jail) and I'm just focused on being here for my brother while it feels like everything I knew about life is crumbling.

I really looked up to this woman and I am so disappointed right now. I thought she had it all together lmao. Egg on my face!

Food: Bagel with a fried egg and that everything but the bagel seasoning on one side and cream cheese/raspberries on the other side. It honestly slaps, you should try it. Sweet and savory

salmon bowl with cucumbers and avocado

i (f22) broke up with my boyfriend (m23) of 3.5 years tonight. it feels so so horrible. i don’t think he was necessarily a BAD boyfriend but there were little things that have built up. i’ve noticed recently that he puts me down a lot in front of his friends just to make them laugh or for their approval. i just got back from a trip with him and his family and the entire time him and his dad made fun of me in the strangest way. what’s even worse is after several attempts to bring this up with him he kept dismissing me and saying “oh that’s just how we are”. i thought for the longest time he was my soulmate and i feel that the rose coloured glasses have been taken off and i see our relationship for what it truly is. this is my first real breakup and it sucks so so so bad. i love him so much but i just can’t put myself in a situation where i am allowing myself to be treated like shit.

I am currently 5 weeks pregnant. I have two boys 4 and 16 months. I didn’t find out until last Sunday because it must’ve happened during my period and I didn’t even know that could happen. Me and my husband are both horrified and devastated. We can’t afford a baby right now, we already have two kids and the economy is terrible. I’ve been working a 116 page pregnancy options workbook but I am just sad. I’m crying all the time. I can’t continue the pregnancy, we cannot afford to give all three children a stable life.

Hi! First post got taken down cuz I posted the food wrong lol but now it’s homemade tzatziki and cucumber salad.

Ok, so I just moved from Chicago to NYC 2 months ago. I felt like Chicago was my place and I'd never liked NYC, but I got a fantastic job that I'm rlly enjoying, I have family here, and my bf lives here, so l decided to give it my best shot.

So far, I've been constantly catcalled, followed on the streets and in the subway, yelled at to "shut up b*tch" by a random man as I was leaving Central Park talking to my mom in my AirPods, and most recently, spat on by a man who walked by my friend and I, took a huge chug of water, and projectile spat it on us.

I wasn't even supposed to be in the city this weekend.
I was supposed to be in my happy place where I go with my family for 2 weeks every year, but I had 3 flights cancelled on me in 1 day. The last one was delayed till Зam before it cancelled so I had to go to work the next morning on 4 hrs of sleep. I so admire people who can function without sleep, but I NEED it.

I feel like NYC is rejecting me. Does anyone have any stories about their adjustment period that can help me decide whether to stick it out or try to leave?
Thank you!!

TW- substance abuse, infant hospitalization, loss of a parent

I can’t remember the last time I felt this upset. I had a rough conversation with my mother today. It started out normal, until we got to the subject of the day I was born.
VERY long story short, I was adopted as a baby. My biological mother was homeless and frequently abused narcotics and other substances while she was pregnant with me. I was born very intoxicated and very sick. It went like this: Bio mom births me in the hospital while hyped up on coke, she leaves immediately (during a blizzard!!) to go home and get high again. Calls my adoptive parents to come pick me up at the hospital. They arrive to find tiny infant me abandoned jn the NICU, fighting for my life while experiencing narcotic withdrawals. I had to have a feeding tube and be on a detox plan for a week.

Today when talking with my mom, she recalled seeing me for the first time and how “I stank so bad”. Apparently babies born with substances in their system have a sweat with a really strong scent as the body processes everything. But my mom just kept talking about how bad I smelled and how gross it was. As a NEWBORN IN THE NICU. No “I was so scared/sad”, “We were hoping you would make a full recovery”, just “you really stank”, while laughing and making a face like she smelled trash or poop. This was also in front of my cousin and grandmother. They were absolutely silent and shocked.

My mom has BPD and often takes little digs at my sis and I to bring our confidence down. But this crossed a line. Its NEVER ok to make fun of anyone with a medical issue, especially a defenseless newborn in the NICU!! Who could be so senseless? Its one thing to laugh about something funny your kid did as a baby but this was out of pocket. I sent her a polite but very firm text message later explaining how I felt, why her words were inappropriate, and ended by telling her I like talking about my past, but it needs to be treated with sensitivity, dignity and respect. She responded by saying “ok. Sorry.” That was it. I dont know what’s more upsetting, her words today, or her response at me advocating for a shred of dignity for that helpless baby in the hospital.

Dinner is costco greek yogurt, berries, psyllium powder and chia seeds. Taking care of the body that got me to where I am today, a much better place.

So I recently turned 26 and got my own health insurance. When it came time to refill my birth control prescription, it said my 3 month pill pack would be $300 on the Walgreens app.

What did I do instead of pay for it, call my gynecologist to see if it could get reduced, call Walgreens to see if there was a mistake, get a different one, etc??

I just decided to not pick it up and take a break from it. I’ve been on different forms of birth control for 10 years (since I was 16) and I just wanted to see what it was like. Well I’ve been off for 2 months and I had a period as normally scheduled June and July, but then a week after my July one I essentially had a second period for four days. Now a week after that I woke up in the middle of the night to what seem to be period cramps.

Ive been irritated about my birth control (my prescription always gets filled a few days late anyway and it fucks with me) and I feel like I went on strike. Also why are there no forms of birth control for men? Why is it all on me?

I shouldn’t have fucked with it. Especially in the United States’ current political climate. I feel so stupid. I will be scheduling a gynecologist visit, not looking forward to possible lecture/chastisement.