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u/GoodbyeEarl 4h ago
I feel that. My mom died on a Friday night. I looked out of my hotel window on Saturday morning wondering why everyone was just walking about. Going along their day like my mom didn’t just die? Grief makes one think odd thoughts.
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u/IceTea106 3h ago
When my uncle died the sun was shining and I was unreasonably upset that the universe didn’t accommodate my mental state and change the weather to a stormy downpour.
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u/not_brittsuzanne 1h ago
My dad died in the early hours of the fourth of July last year. I had to listen to the world celebrate around me while my world crumbled. Its so unfair.
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u/Rescuepets777 28m ago
When I was in high school, a classmate died from leukemia. A storm whipped up on my walk home from school that day. I thought that it was appropriate, like the universe was mad that a kid died.
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u/richestotheconjurer 3h ago
not to compare losing a pet to a parent, but i've always felt that way after a pet dies and it's such a strange, unique feeling. that's the only time i feel it. i remember going to the emergency vet to say goodbye to my cat and looking around at all the other cars (morning time, traffic was bad) and thinking it was so unfair that everything and everyone just kept going. i wanted everything to stop until i felt better.
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u/Complex-Warthog-3201 3h ago
I got the call that my childhood cat passed away while i was at work, at some dead end retail job that didn't respect me. I remember looking around at all the customers shopping for clothes, carrying around piles of stuff worth more than half my paycheck, and having the biggest sense of "why the fuck does any of this shit even matter?" I'd ever had
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u/Rizeren 1h ago
To be fair I think people downplay connections with animals too much. There are a lot of people out there that do not have close relations with their parents and when they die they do not "change" their lives. I mean when I lose someone close to me I have regrets that we will never talk anymore, never go out together, a part of my life dies with them as they were a big portion of the time of my life.
But if someone dies that I almost never spent time with or just talked once in a year then there is close to zero mourning, in the end there is no connection I will miss so it leaves me only with a feeling that I'm sorry they died.
Losing your pet that you had for many years and spent time everyday is like losing part of your life/close family. There is a hole in your day to day activities that reminds you of their absence constantly. Imho losing pets can be way more tragic to some than losing their parents. It's just logical from a subjective perspective.
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u/Unplug_The_Toaster 1h ago
Exactly. I'll be devastated when my mom dies, but she hasn't slept in my bed and had me kiss her face every day for 11 years like my dog has.
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u/SoCalDan 2h ago
I had the same thought when my dad died. Doesn't the world realize a great man just died? How can people just continue their day?
The reality is the world doesn't care and can't care each time someone dies. It's sobering to come to that realization.
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u/shalahal 2h ago
The day my brother passed, I told my dad it’s weird the sun is shining and birds are chirping. It was a very bizarre feeling I can’t put into words.
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u/darksidemags 2h ago
My mom died on December 23rd. My siblings were with her and I had finally dragged myself out to the mall to try to pick up some Christmas presents. I was at an atm when my brother called to tell me she was gone. Finishing my transaction, leaving the mall and walking home through the crush of holiday shoppers felt like an out-of- body experience.
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u/IllllIIlIllIllllIIIl 2h ago
I felt this before admitting myself to the hospital for depression. Just driving around before dawn and seeing the first hints of the city beginning its day and thinking, "so it's really all just going to keep on going without me..." It's a strange feeling to mourn the loss of one's own life. Complex, disenfranchised grief is a near-universal experience for people like me with bipolar disorder, and somehow it's rarely even mentioned by healthcare providers or in patient literature.
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u/Mr_Joguvaga 2h ago
My dad dies december 15th...and i still had to celebrate christmas cause we had our nephew over whi was like 4 when it happend. Driving through the city afterwards made me want tp cry and drive off a bridge.
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u/unpilotedlandmass 1h ago
After my Mom died I thought a lot about how the world just continued on like nothing happened and how everyone would treat you like it was just a normal Thursday.
It reminded me about why it is so important that some cultures have traditions where people have visible signs of mourning so that as they go through the world. Wearing ripped clothing, dressing in all black, even well past the funeral so that people can visibly see that this person is not fully in the world. Like a sign you carry around that says "hey, I'm not okay, my world has been ripped from me."
It reminds me of an interview that Anderson Cooper did with Stephen Colbert about grief where he talked about how he wish he had a massive scar on his face to visibly represent the life-altering pain that he is in. If you walk through the world with a massive gash in your face, people know that something absolutely terrible happened to you. But with grief and trauma, it's invisible.
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u/ThrowingShaed 50m ago
can i ask how youre doing?
i know thats a silly question. but a reminder that a lot of things feel wrong that arent. take care of you. for some thats keeping moving or caring for others, for some its getting lost in a game or fantasy book. I know i tried too early maybe to be ready in some ways for my mom when my dad died, probably... there will always be questions on my end. but i can say the world and universe are strange, and even as someone non religious, there are a lot of places to find hope
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u/DarenRidgeway 3h ago
That moment for me came about two weeks after my Dad passed. We'd gotten back in town from the funeral and I had stopped at a deli to eat. I was leaving and I just stopped in the parking lot watching the cars pass. Just hundreds of people who didn't realize the world had been knocked off its axis (is how I generally try to convey the emotion.) It can be a terribly lonely moment even with friends there.
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u/BesottedScot 1h ago
Theres a word for that - sonder.
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u/FerusGrim 45m ago
I hate this feeling. It feels a lot like derealization, despite the fact that you'd think they'd be nearly opposites. Derealization for me is less about "nothing is a real" and more like... the world as I see it isn't quite the world that exists. Sometimes "isn't quite" gets upgraded to "wildly different," but it never really reaches "nothing is real."
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u/penywinkle 21m ago
For me it kinda helped me... Realize that life MUST go on, that if it happens to me, I must have crossed thousand of people who had the same realization at some point, and then I was the one holding the world "normal" for them...
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u/upvotegoblin 3h ago
Really reminds me of “The End of the World” by Skeeter Davis. It’s framed as a love/breakup song, but the writer was inspired by the death of one of his parents when writing and that really comes across.
“Why do the birds go on singing?
Why do the stars glow above?
Don’t they know it’s the end of the world?
It ended when I lost your love
I wake up in the morning and I wonder
how everything’s the same as it was
I can’t understand, no I can’t understand
How life goes on the way it does”
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u/1saylor1 3h ago
When I heard this song on the radio in Fallout 4, it immediately resonated with me. Made me think about how insignificant our existence is outside of our circle of close people.
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u/ZarathustraGlobulus 1h ago
Same here. This was the perfect song for Fallout 4. I didn't hear the full lyrics at first (only the first three lines) and it sounded like it was written for the game lol
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u/SerLaron 3h ago
Funeral Blues, by Wystan Hugh Auden
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
"Funeral Blues" by Wystan Hugh AudenThe stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.4
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u/Vic7ory_Cook1es 4h ago
My cat died and I still had to go to class the next day. Hated it.
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u/Spainstateofmind 3h ago
Felt this so hard. My 19 year old childhood cat died a few hours before I had to perform as the lead in an opera. It was rough having to singing after bawling all day
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u/0hmylumpingglob 2h ago
I hope you realize how amazing it was that you managed to still do that though. I'm a huge cat person and lve lost my fair share. This past winter, I had been taking care of a family of cats that had moved in under my porch. I'd done what I could to try to find them homes or put them in our local shelter, but I wasn't having any luck. They formed decent relationships with our inside cats over time and we would try to bring them in slowly so they had a safe, warm space. We had a feeding routine with them that I loved doing everyday does everybody got so excited when they knew it was breakfast or dinner time. I cared for them very much. And then one night, one of our girls didn't come home like they always did. When morning came, I was alone because my boyfriend was working night shift and wouldn't be home until after 7am. I happened to look out the front window by chance, and I saw her body in the middle of the street. She had been hit and was very clearly dead as she had been run over to the point that...her insides were all over the street. I went out in the middle of traffic to go get her hysterical. It was cold and her body stuck to the ground, and I just sat on the lawn with her body in a box sobbing until my boyfriend got home shortly after I told him what happened and he raced home. It was terrible in a way that I don't really have words for. I still wasn't even able to just go to my stupid job even the next day cuz I was just still so distressed. You had your baby for so long, I couldn't imagine what that's like, especially for what you had to do after the fact and that you still did it. I just hope you give yourself credit for that.
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u/imahugemoron 3h ago
Similar thing happened to me, my grandpa that I was really close with died suddenly the night before a public speaking class I was taking in college, and I had a speech that day too, I ended up kind of oversharing and breaking down in front of the entire class and abruptly just walked out. Didn’t have the courage to even go back so I dropped the class.
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u/CatLover_801 3h ago
Same except my dog. She died very suddenly in the middle of the night a couple months ago and my mom still made me go to school (on three hours of sleep) the next day
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u/w33b2 1h ago
I feel that, I had to get my dog euthanized very recently, only four months ago. He was 19, I had had him for as long as I could remember. When I was a child we adopted him as a puppy, and when I moved out he came with me.
So losing him felt like losing a limb. I still feel weird not having him climb up between my legs when I get underneath the covers. He was euthanized at 1:30 AM, and I had to be at work at 7:30AM. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that disconnected from reality. It’s like it just wasn’t real, I didn’t care about anything anyone was saying and just ignored everything. The sadness hit me when I got home that day, and he wasn’t there.
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u/Crooked_star 1m ago
Dog died and i had a shift at Amazon. Manager proceeds to berate me about my low rate :')
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u/CommercialMoment5987 3h ago
After my mom died it was hard walking down the street and seeing how the world kept turning. It struck me how none of these people know what they’re missing today, like it was more their loss at not knowing her at all. I wanted to tell everyone I’m sorry, you just missed her, she’s already gone. You would have loved her.
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u/Trieclipse 1h ago
This was quite moving to read. What a lovely sentiment to hold in a moment of loss. Thank you for sharing.
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u/FyouPerryThePlatypus 4h ago
Fuck that was just a punch in the gut
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u/Lazy-Main1782 3h ago
True, but this girl can just be an adult and deal with this like any adult would do. Tell her friend what happened and continue on til it’s back to normalcy
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u/Nowhereman50 3h ago
I hope you never have to feel grief ever in your entire life.
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u/Lazy-Main1782 3h ago
My dad died when I was 10, so it’s all me and all the trauma. But regardless, who gives a shit. Not certainly from people who replies to my social media posts.
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u/Ptabe88 3h ago
You weren't exactly sympathetic in your post, yet you complain about a lack of that from others on here? Seems a bit lopsided no?
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u/Lazy-Main1782 3h ago
Oh no, I wasn’t trying to be. Sorry for the confusion. Just move on with the day.
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u/Tucker-Coy 2h ago
No wonder you don’t let others see your posts or comments. Asshat
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u/Lazy-Main1782 2h ago edited 2h ago
That’s privated on most people nowadays. Sorry, gone are the days where you can just go through someone’s profile for a quick “Aha!” posts. But if you ever find yourself having to do that, just find a different hobby. Have a good life.
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u/butterfingahs 2h ago
Not gone, just gotta know how to look. Either way even without looking you come off extremely unsympathetic here. Like yes, of course she'll have to soldier on and learn to deal with it. That's not the point.
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u/XisIpRotaredom 1h ago
You can find them still using this site.
They are alwyas the worst people lmao
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u/Lazy-Main1782 2h ago
Oh yes, you can just copy and paste the username on the search bar, but at that point you might as well just as well just delete your account since you’re just heading to absolutely no life territory where reddit is your only form of happiness.
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u/DiggityDog6 3h ago
What a horrible thing to say. Yeah yeah, we get it. Life’s not fair, it sucks sometimes, and you have to learn how to live with it. But have you also considered that people are allowed to feel pain, and grief, and loss, and that maybe, just maybe, you can shut the fuck up and let them feel that?
“Any adult” would be grief stricken at the loss of their animal, assuming they actually loved it. That doesn’t make her any less of an adult, nor does it mean she has growing up to do. It means that she’s a human with feelings who gets affected by them. That’s what “any adult” does.
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u/BonniBuny91 3h ago
What a pathetic show of ignorance
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u/Lazy-Main1782 3h ago
Sure
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u/RubiiJee 40m ago
No. There's no sure. I'm going to be real. It was bang out and demonstrates someone, at worst, completely unable to understand human emotion or compassion. You really need to work on yourself if your immediate response to someone just taking a very human moment to share their very human emotions is to just "get on with it". Actually really concerning response.
I hope you wake up and get some help, because a lack of empathy or compassion for others is a really dark sign, and you need it. Being able to empathise with others is a core part of being human.
Good luck.
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u/HerbivoreTheGoat 22m ago
You know the world doesn't have to make you into a miserable sack of shit
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u/Drow_Femboy 12m ago
deal with this like any adult would do
Most adults struggle with this in exactly the same way.
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u/GlobalAd7963 3h ago
Exactly... the world just keeps spinning, even when your whole world stops. Felt that
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u/CitgoBeard 3h ago
I had a friend take her life, and then 2 days later David Bowie died. I remember thinking ‘who cares!? He wasn’t my friend!” I was angry at the world for mourning the life and achievements of a brilliant artist when my friends, family, and other loved ones felt an insurmountable pain for our loss. And no one else cared. I have always had a slight resentment since, even as a fan.
She was 27. Please reach out to anyone if you need help, the world needs you.
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u/bedroomblogger 3h ago
My brother in law was in a coma, his body actively failing, death imminent. My husband and his family were sitting vigil with him. Family was coming, so I had to go to the grocery store to feed them all. I remember feeling so blind as I wandered the aisles, trying to remember what to buy and wondering how no one could hear me screaming. How does the world not stop when our world was ending?
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u/bananasaucecer 3h ago
how trapped you are in a moment while everyone else moves and won't care feels bad.
and I hate it.
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u/Optimism_Deficit 3h ago
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone, Silence the pianos and with muffled drum Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead, Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves, Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West, My working week and my Sunday rest, My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song; I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one; Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun; Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood; For nothing now can ever come to any good.
W H Auden
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u/justeandj 3h ago
This poem always comes to find me when I think I'm completely fine, and then breaks me all over again. 💜
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u/Lost_house_keys 3h ago
Lost my mom to cancer a week before Christmas in 2017. We had a another miracle snowfall in South Texas and couldn't even enjoy it. We managed to stumble into church one Sunday and most of the congregation didn't even attempt to offer any condolences. Their only concern was that we were in the building again. We no longer associate with that church. I only took 2 weeks off of work, since I didn't have PTO and bills don't stop coming. It was a really tough time, especially for my dad, who almost drove to the nearest bridge to drive off of it (he's much better now, after we moved and allowed ourselves a fresh start). We as a family had never felt so alone.
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u/Twooshort 3h ago
When my dad died, I was the one who got the call from the hospital in the middle of the night. I was also the one who had to call and inform my relatives, which just felt awful, like why would I want to stop time in their world too?
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u/imperialviolet 1h ago
One of the worst parts of my father dying was having to call our family friends to tell him. That’s the part that still really destroys me when I remember.
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u/gunnapackofsammiches 3h ago
This is such a normal feeling in grief. I think it's part of why so many cultures have (had) ways to outwardly indicate that you are grieving long after the initial loss. US American culture doesn't really have an outward signifier and I think it's a noticable lack. We tend to instinctively understand that those who are grieving move through the world a little differently.
I lost a friend of almost 20 years very suddenly last week. The brain fog of grief is real.
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u/isaacfrost0 3h ago
If you wear black, then kindly, irritating strangers will touch your arm consolingly and inform you that the world keeps on turning.
They're right. It does.
However much you beg it to stop.
It turns and lets grenadine spill over the horizon, sends hard bars of gold through my window and I wake up and feel happy for three seconds and then I remember.
It turns and tips people out of their beds and into their cars, their offices, an avalanche of tiny men and women tumbling through life...
All trying not to think about what's waiting at the bottom.
Sometimes it turns and sends us reeling into each other's arms. We cling tight, excited and laughing, strangers thrown together on a moving funhouse floor.
Intoxicated by the motion we forget all the risks.
And then the world turns...
And somebody falls off...
And oh God it's such a long way down.
Numb with shock, we can only stand and watch as they fall away from us, gradually getting smaller...
Receding in our memories until they're no longer visible.
We gather in cemeteries, tense and silent as if for listening for the impact; the splash of a pebble dropped into a dark well, trying to measure its depth.
Trying to measure how far we have to fall.
No impact comes; no splash. The moment passes. The world turns and we turn away, getting on with our lives...
Wrapping ourselves in comforting banalities to keep us warm against the cold.
"Time's a great healer."
"At least it was quick."
"The world keeps turning."
Swamp Thing Vol.5 by Alan Moore
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u/rolloutTheTrash 3h ago
My mother died right before Christmas. So while most people were out shopping for presents for theirs I had to help with burial preparations for mine.
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u/Roofofcar 3h ago
The most traumatic moment of my life happened on June 17th 2016 at 5:09PM. When I came out of that medical building, I was disgusted to see a blue sky with majestic clouds. I screamed at the clouds to have some fucking respect but they didn’t move.
I still hate those clouds. She deserved better from some fucking clouds.
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u/Diedrogen 2h ago
So that's why old men yell at clouds.
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u/Roofofcar 2h ago
It’s been over a decade, and they can still fuck right off.
She is was important and she was special and not one of those cloudy fucks has brought the world a thousandth of the joy she did every day for so many people.
The world is harsh. Life is short. If you’ve failed, you’re in deep company, and if you’ve succeeded, don’t look back.
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u/TrumpsAKrunt 3h ago
Got me crying.
I think something similar every time I lose somebody I loved - the world doesn't stop turning, it has no idea what it's lost. Its a very lonely moment.
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u/MacPooPum 3h ago
I lost my dad a little over a year ago. I wasnt living with my parents. When we got his diagnosis of stage 4 cancer basically everywhere. I told my boss I'm taking leave and I don't know when I'm coming back.
I was with my family for 3 weeks. I left Sunday and said my goodbyes. Monday morning at 1h33am my mom phones me... He's gone... I'm grateful for those last few weeks but man I hate I wasn't there....
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u/GlitteringAttitude60 3h ago
After my father died, I had several moments where I just wanted to grab a random person walking past me, shake them and yell at them "DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED???"
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u/karebearjedi 3h ago
I felt the exact same way when my boyfriend died. nothing felt real for a long time. hugs
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u/Redybluejaw 3h ago
This was one of the hardest parts of losing my mom. The world kept spinning. You keep looking around begging for a second hoping the rest of the world will look over and see that something is wrong something is missing but to them it’s not. And it feels invalidating to your feelings to your pain to that massive hole that now sits in your life.
When I was in the car on my way to my mom’s memorial service we drove by a McDonald’s that was just off the highway. And as I stared out the window I saw that their American flag was flying at half mast. Big evil corpo McDonald’s had their flag in the position of mourning. Of course it wasn’t for my mom, she wasn’t any big wig politician but for the half a second it took for that thought to get to my head I had a whole train of thought. That if that one was at half mast many were and they were all over the country and the world. And so for that half a second the world stopped and mourned my mom. The world said “We miss her too.” And that snapped me free of that emptiness a little.
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u/VierasMarius 2h ago
Just watched a play called You Are Cordially Invited to the End of the World. Resonated deeply with me... the death of my mother felt like the death of my whole world too.
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u/RefurbedRhino 2h ago
It's very true.
Funeral Blues
by W.H. Auden
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crêpe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
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u/affemannen 2h ago
If we reverse this it's actually a guidance in how to handle our grief, because the world moves on, we have to choose for ourselves to move with it.
One can still grieve, the important part is to not remain stationary, and while slowly moving trying to pick up the pieces too rebuilds oneself, even if we never become whole again.
i am always reminded of this https://www.reddit.com/r/Assistance/comments/hax0t/my_friend_just_died_i_dont_know_what_to_do/c1u0rx2/
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u/Rekoyuu 2h ago
Isn't is a bit selfish and even childish to expect the whole world to stop turning just because something tragic happened to you specifically? Your dad died, sure, but someone else just got married today. Someone had their first child today. Someone landed their first job. Are you genuinely expecting them to abandon their happiness just so you can brood in peace? Let sad people be sad and happy people be happy. Simple as that in my eyes.
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u/Rainbowlemon 1h ago
It is a bit selfish, but that's the point. It's just a way of expressing sadness that someone's whole life can end, and it only creates the tiniest of ripples. Of course there is a lot to celebrate about life too, but it does feel weird that life continues to go on for everyone else even when your own world is crumbling in your head. Not sure if you've ever been with a loved one when they've passed away, but I have twice and both times i felt like this.
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u/ThanksOne9763 29m ago
Have you ever lost someone truly close to you?
A mom, a son, a best friend?
Its not about wether the feeling is justified or not. Its not about being selfish and childish.
Its just a primal feeling you will have.
Trying to argue the feeling isnt relevant.
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u/kmrbtravel 16m ago
Is this the level of reading comprehension and level of empathy we have now? Jesus christ.
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u/Ijustwanttobuyshiny 1h ago
My world has been black and white since last October. The first few months I couldn’t breath; everything stopped— I stopped everything. I am a man who cried every other year (not a flex, I’ve been through a lot of pain and loss before I just didn’t cry) and now I cry every day. I could cry constantly if I chose. The only thing that forces me not to give up is because I know he never did and never would. I exist only because that’s what he taught me. I am a shattered person. I have no peace. No joy. I feel like my access to God has disappeared ever since I watched him take his final breath. I am crying now nd I was crying before I read this post. I miss him so much I simply can’t take it at times. I am tortured by the sadness that being without him in the flesh puts on me. I haven’t smiled once like I used to smile constantly. My life has not been easy and I have know pain and loss for as long as I remember, this is different than any of it. I was Papa. I don’t know what the fuck I am now. I don’t know if I care. I kiss his photo, I squeeze his stuffed animal, I hold him with me in every moment. I don’t care about anything I used to. Anything at all. I don’t give a fuck, but not in the way I used to not give a fuck. I don’t give a fuck about giving a fuck or not giving a fuck. I only care about doing everything I can to reconnect with his soul, in pure love, like God or source or whatever you want to call it. That’s what he brought me, I know it’s what we brought each other. The wrenching pain is the baseline. All happiness and relief from it is only momentarily and the twisting agony of living in the world I could deal with in the days before him and just fucking can’t since he left his body is what all the bullshit moments of what passed for life before now wait for me. I love you, Papa loves you, please help Papa be good and brave and hopeful so I don’t get lost and can make sure that my death is my ticket to you and pure love and pure peace and pure bliss that this fucking life was so gracious to have shown me, through you. Papa loves you my sweet beautiful boy and I promise I won’t do anything to remove me from you before my death releases me to you and that pure love. Please help me God.
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u/Secure-Suspect7091 1h ago
Funeral Blues by W.H. Auden Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone, Silence the pianos and with muffled drum Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead, Put crêpe bows round the white necks of the public doves, Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West, My working week and my Sunday rest, My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song; I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong. The stars are not wanted now: put out every one; Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun; Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood. For nothing now can ever come to any good.
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u/Virtual_Penalty8009 1h ago
My dad died on my 11th birthday and I never recovered. I basically just disassociate as the days go by. I'm 25 now.
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u/JhayAlejo 1h ago
Everyone can move on, but they better let me stop
Dont tell me to "be a fucking adult". Everyone else should "be a fucking adult" instead and leave me the fuck alone at a time like these
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u/pandershrek 3h ago
Someone had to carry my father from the bed to the stretcher because it couldn't make it into the room and I happened to be the strongest one home. It was the last time I held him and it was sad that there was no life left to hold me back. But life isn't fair and shit must get done. 😭
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u/Bedroom_Bellamy 3h ago
I felt this when my mom passed when I was 17. It was 11 days before Christmas, and I didn't understand how anyone in this world was still able to celebrate.
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u/anitasdoodles 3h ago
God when my best friend died I remember what an effort it was to brush my teeth the next day. It felt so pointless and routine.
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u/el_torko 3h ago
I felt like this when my husband died. People still expected me to be a person and that concept was so foreign to me at that point.
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u/-randomly_generate 3h ago
As my mum said to me when my niece died, "life goes on". It felt harsh but she was right
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u/TheProfessionalOne28 2h ago
There’s a movie, Other People, and there was a convo like:
Guy 1: I didn’t think my parents would die, I thought that was something that happened to other people
Guy 2: And now to most people, you ARE the “other people”
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u/certainly_imperfect 2h ago
the comment section feels like free therapy!
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u/Rainbowlemon 1h ago
There's something so reassuring about the fact that even though grief makes you feel like your world is falling apart... There are others that are experiencing the same thing and can relate to your sadness.
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u/Objective_Farm_4789 2h ago
It is both a kindness and a travesty that life continues even in the face of death and grief. God please bless and comfort all those walk in the shadow of the valley.
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u/Joosrar 2h ago
My uncle who i was close with as a kid died recently, I still think about it, he died from a sudden heart attack on a Thursday night, Friday he was his funeral and by Saturday he was buried. He went from eating dinner on Thursday to buried by Saturday morning, and the world kept spinning, everyone continued their lives, but I still think that I won’t be able to go see my uncle anymore, and how fast we amount to nothing.
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u/Equivalent_Law_6311 2h ago edited 2h ago
My friend died at 9:30 pm. I was supposed to visit her that night, but I was too tired. She shot herself, and the next day, my mother told me.
Sounds cliché, but the color of the world changed for me, and it took 20 years to change back. But yeah, people went about their lives, and nobody cared.
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u/silentslit 2h ago
I'm so sorry. Your story reminds me of a song called Madeline by Tickle Me Pink.
When I was 13 my friend and I were walking to his place to ask his parents if we could have a sleepover, on the way there he asked "Do you think your dad and stepmom would ever split up?" I don't know why he asked that, but my reply was "The only way that would happen is if one of them died."
When we got to his house, I found out my stepmom was in the hospital, and a few hours later she died from a blood clot in her heart. I kept that conversation a closely guarded secret for a long time, because I felt like I killed her just by saying it, and it took me years to accept it wasn't my fault. Losing people we care about sucks.
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u/Pale-Buddy-2056 2h ago
Felt this when I had a miscarriage. I didnt tell anyone at work. Didn't really need to give a reason to, it happened during the 1st trimester and I havent told anyone from the office yet, and I just used my sick days anyway. I came back to work a few days after and everything just went on as normal. Answered emails, solved issues, even attended a retirement party for a colleague. It's like my world stopped and somehow everything is normal for everyone else.
A month after the miscarriage and I receive a call from my brother that they rushed our dad to hospital. He died there on that hospital bed. I was on living on the other side of the world and I didn't even have the chance to hold his hand nor say goodbye. On my flight home it felt so strange to see people with their luggage, running around the busy airport, meanwhile I felt like I was just floating, annoyed because I just wanted to stop and cry but everyone just kept moving.
I had my second miscarriage this year and I thought it would hurt less but it didn't.
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u/Pretty_Bird_6013 2h ago
Works for good news too, when i came back from the hospital with my newborn I felt the same disconnection between this big change in my life and the rest of the world.
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u/rainshowers_5_peace 2h ago
I hope she has people in her life to feed her cats and make her coffee while she grieves.
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u/sneakyminxx 2h ago
Ugh, I just wanted to scream and shake every single person when my mom died. Like do you not know who I’ve lost? My entire chest has been hit with a cannonball and I can’t breathe, my whole, damn world is GONE. And everyone, including my ex husband just went on like it was something so easy to get over. 18 years last week. I love you mama and I still look for you everywhere. Always.
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u/Dazzling-Profile-196 2h ago
Death and birth make time stop and you don't understand how the world is still spinning
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u/MaybeHarryPotter 2h ago
My brother died, and later that day I had to take his two sons trick or treating. I broke down half way through the evening but tried to hide it as best as I could for my nephews.
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u/abovepostisfunnier 2h ago
My grandma died on Thanksgiving and the next day my mom took me to the airport and we stopped to get lunch and someone asked us how our holiday was and we were like oh. Um. Good thanks. 🥲
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u/LaksaLettuce 2h ago
It's a surreal experience. Your world stops amd the grief is so overwhelming and all consuming. No matter how illogical, the world continuing is almost an unbearable thing to deal with during those times. How dare people smile and joke, don't they know???
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u/Alternative_Jury2480 2h ago
My grandma died on Wednesday while I was flying across the ocean and I found out when I landed for my vacation.
It was surreal. I'm supposed to be going to do something fun. Relaxing. Enjoying myself along with all these other people who just landed in a new country. But how do I do that? How are they all fine and how is everyone at the airport walking by like nothing happened?
It all felt so, so wrong and I still don't think I've started processing
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u/luckyracoon1669 2h ago
My mam didn't die but was close to it recently. I had the exact same thoughts. She's only 61, how come older people got to live and go out while she was stuck in an unexplained coma? I know it'll happen again when she does die.
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u/Girthmasterlite 2h ago
When I had my first big fight with a girlfriend a tree fell on my house above me. Not saying the universe revolves around me but that right after I laid down moping I was like are you fucking kidding me 😂
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u/Sorry-Combination558 1h ago
Shit, that was exactly how I felt when my mom died. I was sitting at the bus stop, waiting with my dad to go home from the hospital, and life was just going on. Cars going by, people walking their dogs, laughing, walking hand in hand, and I just sat there with my world completely upside down.
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u/sharkdinner 1h ago
The day after my brother died I went out to get bread from the bakery. The December sun was shining brightly, the seagulls were screaming just like they do every day. People walking their dogs, doing their jobs, the cashier at the bakery greeted me with the same smile she did every other day. It hurt realising that nobody cared my brother had died, nobody even knew he ever existed. It was just a regular Thursday morning for them. My world was in shambles, theirs was unchanged.
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u/ChampionshipFalse341 1h ago
When my dad died a few years ago, I was astonished at how little life stopped amongst my extended family; aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. on my mom’s side. It was weird.
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u/seld_m_break 1h ago
Be the friend who is there when everyone else has moved on. The first few days the funeral takes over and everyone is there but then the world moves on, and that is most lonely you will ever be.
About 6 months after my dad died his team won a trophy for the first time in 25 years. An old teammate of mine messaged me after the game asking how i was cause he knew that would get me. Hadn't seen him since the funeral and was a while before then. But a quick message helped a lot
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u/TacticalAwkwardness 1h ago
I remember the first week after my gf died. I didn't feel hunger or direction. There was just blind rage against the Sun for rising, the sound of laughter, and anything good in general. "It's not fair". Grief will turn you into a monster if you let it.
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u/coldsilencehas 1h ago
Sometimes I think about that, if I die the world will keep going. There will be more of my favourite things being released, like video games, they will keep releasing masterpieces after I die and I wont be able to enjoy them.
Tech will keep improving and being amazing and I wont be able to see it.
Relatives that haven't died before me will keep going too, I wont be there for their Christmas, birthdays, etc...
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u/Jubenheim 1h ago
I completely understand. It should really be more humbling to know that... life really does go on. You can even view that as a sort of morbid sense of strength. It sucks. It really does, but the world does go on.
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u/Scorpio-chick-67 1h ago
I remember feeling the exact resentment, thinking the exact thing when my father died in his sleep when I was 15. I found him. I thought, how dare the world keep spinning? And what’s up with all these other old people, in much worse health than my dad, why the hell are they still alive while my dad is dead? Condolences sweetie. Stay strong.
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u/billions_of_stars 1h ago
There's a heartbreaking scene in the silent movie The Crowd where the protagonist's young daughter is killed by a vehicle. He's deep in mourning and he doesn't understand how the city around him is still bustling. There's a fire somewhere in the city and in a sort of delirium and he runs out to complain to the firemen who don't understand the tragedy and how can this all be happening and the fireman, who is rushing to get to the fire tells the man that the world keeps going on regardless of what is happening to us. Or something like that.
Honestly, that movie is one of the better movies I've seen...crazy good and way ahead of it's time.
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u/faxyou 1h ago
I still think about this man, he was in his early 50s and how he didn’t want to die. He was starting to feel the fear of death now that he had entered his 50s and that had made him bitter.
He said that deep down, he wished the world would end when he died, or at least before he died that something would happen. It was a very vulnerable thing for him to say, I get that. Because of the implications to his own thought processes.
But I think about him often, especially when I get sick, even if it’s just a cold. I think about him. I think a lot of people would wish the world would just stop, or eternally freeze in place the moment they died.
That’s also why a lot of peoples probably yearn for legacy. Whether it’s some form of art, or something immediate, like family. People really don’t want to be forgotten as time just continues on.
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u/StatusDangerous3219 1h ago
I had a ticket to see Dream Theater on Sep 19 2017 but my dad died that day at 11:30pm. I chose to not go and stay with him. And my birthday is Sep 20. I have feelings and thoughts about the whole affair but my main take away is do what you will
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u/Aranxi_89 1h ago
As my grandfather explained it after my grandmother's passing, "such is life, it goes on. We come, we live, we go. Just live on and cherish the present."
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u/Lilith_ademongirl 1h ago
I felt like this after my dad died a little over a year ago. I was supposed to start uni, as I had just finished high school. I did. I failed two months in because of a deep depression and struggled so hard. All my other friends seemed... fine. It angered me so much, why me? Why didn't everyone else's life take a pause as well???
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u/The-Jesus_Christ 1h ago
Your death will always be at an inconvenient time. Dishes waiting to be done, clothes waiting to be washed, bills waiting to be paid.
You die, the world continues like clockwork. It's hard to reconcile that fact. I don't think few do.
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u/pink_dreams24 19m ago
When my mom passed away few months ago I hated how everyone was like "It's life. It happens. You just have to live on. It will happen to all of us". I know it's true but in the moment I felt like people are just underestimating the pain I was feeling and I felt like it was so unfair that my mom dies while other people live on. Why world had to end for me but others could just live? It's a very weird feeling
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u/CheckTime9978 17m ago
My mother passed away in hospice a month and a half ago after an almost 3 year battle with cancer. I was there with my younger brother, our uncle, his wife and then our cousin who came early in the morning right after she passed. It was so incredibly surreal packing up her stuff in there and us leaving at 6:30 am. We left the hospital and walked to a café to have breakfast together. The strangest day in my life.
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u/ScrufffyJoe 15m ago
My uncle died suddenly at 49 a few years ago. Some kind of brain bleed I think, Wednesday he went to bed with a headache, Friday he was declared braindead and Sunday the machines were being turned off and his organs used to save others.
What's really stuck with me was something my aunt texted my mother about after it was all done. She obviously had been all over the place, spent most of her time at the hospital, hardly any at home. When she did get home after he was gone she noticed his clothes were still on the washing line. She had no idea what to do, do you iron them, fold them, put them away? Of course, it doesn't matter, but she couldn't bear to face them. Those clothes were a reminder of how he'd just been plucked from existence, in the middle of normal day-to-day life which had carried on around us all.
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u/stilljustacatinacage 14m ago
I understand and have felt the sentiment in OP, but I also want to express a different perspective too, because while it can feel isolating to have to experience such grief alone, I find a sort of... comfort, in the way the world continues to turn, because it means the world today isn't so terribly different than it was yesterday.
I'm plagiarizing someone, to say: We are a mosaic of every person we've ever loved. In that way, I don't believe our loved ones are ever really gone. They endure as fragments of ourselves, and every now and then, when the sun hits that shard just right, it shines so brightly, we can believe they're standing beside us, if only for a moment.
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u/Melkor-The-Mighty 13m ago
Its not unfair. In the grand mega scheme of things, you dont matter. Your feelings dont matter.
Nothing matters. You arent special. We, aren't special.
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u/sittinwithkitten 12m ago
I remember driving home after my mum passed in the hospital. She had been sick but got sepsis so things went downhill fast. I remember being in the room with my dad and siblings. They extubated her and she took maybe two breaths and passed. It was so sad, it felt like my heart was being ripped through my chest. Then a little while later I’m in my car alone driving home. People were just carrying on outside, cars and people. Meanwhile, inside my car, I was having the worst day of my life.
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u/theresamushroominmy 11m ago
I sort of haven’t started back up after my safta died and it’s been multiple years
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u/Serious_Evidence_378 7m ago
I thought that. Why doesnt the world stop, how can these people carry on like nothing has happened. How on earth do they not know was has happened. But now I tell myself maybe it’s for the best. Because if the world stopped it would never start again.
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u/idontlikeburnttoast 3m ago
I had that with my dog, my best friend, she meant more to me than anyone else in my family and her desth devastated me. I still had a presentation to do 2 days later, still had to revise for a test, had to go shopping, to find presents for an upcoming birthday.
Death fucking sucks. Its her birthday on Saturday and I want to do something for it.
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u/knox1138 2m ago
Having a parent die is definitely rough, and let me tell you, finding out it's now up to you to make all the decisions about how to deal with the body and execute the estate makes it numbingly overwhelming. I somehow just ... for lack of better term, turned off emotions for about 3 months, and once I was done with enough of the legal responsibilities that I let myself mentally rest it all hit me again like the day I found her passed away. It's definitely unfair the world doesn't stop, and even more so that you have to make legal and financial decisions quickly.
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u/Matticus-G 1m ago
Grief distorts personal reality in a very real way. The only comfort is that when you bring this up to other people, almost everyone understands it in someway or another.
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u/panzercampingwagen 3h ago
OP never mourned for a stranger but gets upset strangers don't mourn for them
classic human
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u/Deskbound_Wilburys 4h ago edited 3h ago
Why did the coffee still need to be made?
Seems like a choice
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u/Alone_Agent_8829 4h ago
Because unfortunately life carries on, whether you want it to or not.
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u/Deskbound_Wilburys 4h ago
I don’t think you read well. I questioned why there was a NEED for coffee to be made. If you want, I can attach a comparison between need vs want.
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u/TheHextron 3h ago
I find it interesting that people that respond like this always have their comments hidden. It’s like you like being an asshole and then run and hide
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u/Deskbound_Wilburys 3h ago
Based on your post history it checks out that you’d find that interesting…
Not surprising you don’t see the point of people keeping their profile secret.
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u/TotallyAwesomeRacoon 3h ago
habit? caffeine addiction?
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u/Deskbound_Wilburys 3h ago
Need vs want.
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u/Wonderful_Tonight337 3h ago
Dude you are just so pedantic. The coffee is an example of something completely mundane that will still occur in the morning. The hyper-emphasis on "need" is not the focus of the excerpt.
Even if we take your useless interpretation, dad has just died, probably didn't sleep at all, still need to go to work, can't be fired so need to be alert, therefore coffee. There, need. So weird
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u/Deskbound_Wilburys 3h ago
Bro, you’re so butt hurt. You extrapolated on variables you can’t verify. I simply questioned a word. Your caffeine addiction is a choice.
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u/Wonderful_Tonight337 3h ago
Such a weird fallback argument - under 600mg per day caffeine consumption is inversely correlated with all-cause mortality. It's like saying you have a vitamin addiction. Source
Like I get arguing anonymously with people on the internet can be fun, but at least be good at it
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u/Leather-Attorney- 3h ago
Because the rhythm of their life needs to be mantained. Whether it was work, their studies or other responsibilities, coffee might be what gives them the energy to carry on. Or to at least get out of bed.
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u/wanna_be_green8 3h ago
Keeping a semi-normal routine after loss is helpful in the grieving process. And a lot of people rely on caffeine for a clear mind in the mornings.
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u/IdioticZacc 3h ago
Despite the others replies accusing you of being a dick, I kinda get what you mean too. Not particularly trying to be rude, but it was the one thing that stood out to me as well, what makes it necessary to make coffee? My conclusion is that I don't think OOP put that much thoughts to that part and its really just another way of saying "life goes on"
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u/Capable_Front_7886 3h ago
Yall are genuinely, and I mean GENUINELY insufferable. Does anyone even like you in your day to day life? Literally no one likes a devils advocate, or someone who hyper focuses on one specific term when they knew what the intent was and misinterpret it or try to correct it. Go soul searching, you won’t have anyone there for you when you pass.
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u/IdioticZacc 2h ago
I mean, my friend group and partner does. It's genuinely not anything harmful, just things that we think about and not always voice out. It leads to interesting questions. Idk why you're being so harsh over something so harmless, it's not even playing devil's advocate because I'm not advocating on anyones side or anything, just thoughts, yknow?
If it was something more serious like "oh should trans people deserve rights" and someone go "well, consider the other side..." Thats when it's actually devils advocate and genuinely annoying and harmful. Here it's just, yea, seem weirdly out of place and thats all
I'm neurodivergent if that changes anything, my friend groups are also too and we point these things out and converse too
And before anyone go "you're making us 'normal' neurodivergent people look bad", like dude I'm not saying every one who are, are like this, just pointing out the possibility of similarities, and that it's really just harmless discussion that really don't need this much aggression to go "you won't have anyone there for you when you pass" like damn
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u/Optimism_Deficit 1h ago
OOP's comment was intended to elicit an emotiinally epathetic response, and it was pretty relatable to anyone who's lost a loved one.
You being overly analytical about it comes across as tone-deaf and pedantic to almost everyone else. That's why you received a blunt response.
Maybe that's how you and your friends discuss things between yourselves, but it generally won't be received well by most other people.
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u/IdioticZacc 1h ago
I would have completely understood a blunt response, I took the risk of responding to a commentor to say that they're not alone despite everyone assuming the worst of them
I fully expected a blunt response even, as you said, it generally don't go well with most people, what I didn't expect is a really harsh response
Theres a really big difference between a blunt "it's just a sad tweet stop reading so deep into it." And "No one loves you, you will die alone."
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u/Shot_Revolution8828 2h ago
Fair is where you eat cotton candy and ride sketchy rides. Life aint fair, and deserve got nothing to do with it.
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u/qualityvote2 4h ago
Heya u/Beneficial_Passion40! And welcome to r/NonPoliticalTwitter!
For everyone else, do you think OP's post fits this community? Let us know by upvoting this comment!
If it doesn't fit the sub, let us know by downvoting this comment and then replying to it with context for the reviewing moderator.